Crookshanks Babysits
by crookshankkitty
Summary: Who do you trust with your most precious possession? not Ron Weasley!


Disclaimer:-don't own any of characters belong to JKR.. no copywrite infringement intended...haven't got anything,so you can't sue!

Crookshanks Babysits.

Crookshanks took his duties very seriously.

He was guarding his humans house,they were out for the evening,leaving him in charge .he had patrolled all the floors from attic to basement.

The half kneazle decided he was going to go into the front parlour to have a sleep on the armchair by the fire,it would be warm and cosy.

And if there was one thing Crookshanks liked it was his creature comforts!

But unfortunately "they" had beaten him to the warm fire.

The ginger boy and his female~the one named after the smelly plant in the garden.

Crookshanks looked at them with distain, he had never liked the Ron very much,he had upset his bushy furred human to many times.

The Lav-Lav wasn't much better,with her high pitched cackle and flouncy hair.

They were making strange noises...Crookshanks Knew what these noises meant!

They were mating! But why wasn't he biting the Lav-Lavs neck? And holding her down?

He hoped that there wouldn't be any kittings. It was bad enough that there was the two of them,let alone anymore!

Suddenly a high pitched wail rent the air. The Half Kneazle lifted his head towards the sound.

He turned on his paws and leapt up the stairs to the upper floors.

He went silently into his humans bedroom,a night light was burning on the mantelpiece,casting flickering shadows onto the walls.

Crookshanks leapt onto the large four-poster bed and padded over to the edge of the bed,where he could see into an elaborate,carved wooden cradle.

The small,red faced occupant was screaming and flaying their arms and legs in distress,the soft blankets that had covered the tiny body had been kicked off. Crookshanks nose picked up the distinct smell of a soiled infant! He was glad that kneazle kittings had litter trays or could go outside. He would have to go and get the Ron or Lav-Lav to see to his humans kitting.

Crookshanks miaowed to the baby and went back downstairs.

As he approached the Parlour he could hear moans,groans and squelchy sounds. he ran in and started yowling!

'Miaow,hissssssssssssssss,pffft miaow'

'BUGGER OFF! You poxy cat!

'Pffft hisssssssssssss'

The Ron was still on top of the Lav-Lav,making no effort to move.

Crookshanks yowled even louder,trying to get their attentsion.

" maybe he's trying to tell us something Ron."

" No,he's just being a bloody pain,He has never liked me,since Scabbers turned out to be Pettrigrew."

At that moment they both heard the wailing cries coming from above.

" Bloody Hell! I forgot about the baby! Hermione's gonna kill us if anythings wrong!" wailed Ron.

"Well,if its a crappy nappy you can deal with it! I've only just had my nails done."

The pair got up off the floor,and cleaned themselves up with Lavenders wand,re-did buttons and straightened their clothing,making sure that the parlour was tidy.

Ron made his way upstairs to the master bedroom,The Half Kneazle trotting behind him.

Ron walked through the open door,the wailing cries had quietened down to hiccupping sobs.

" What's the matter mate? You got a dirty bum?" crooned Ron as he lifted the baby out of the cradle.

" COR! Bloody hell! What a stink! Thank Merlin for _Scougifiy"_

Crookshanks stood on the bed watching Ron change the baby.

The cat decided that he would stay upstairs guarding his humans precious bundle. He would tell Snuffles about what had gone on that evening.

When Ron had finished doing the dirty nappy,he washed his hands after placing the soiled nappy in the bucket provided, making sure the baby was warmly tucked in. he went back downstairs, and went into the kitchen to find Lavender making a pot of tea.

"Was everything alright?"

"Yeah,just a crappy nappy...Merlin did it stink!" He wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"Did you feed him?" asked Lavender

" Nah. Have to leave that to 'Mione,I don't have the right equipment!" Ron laughed.

"Didn't she say to call her back if he needed feeding?if we get her back soon as possible,we might just make last orders at the leaky."

" Great idea,We both deserve a firewhisky or three for looking after young Reggie!"

Just then the sound of a floo activating was heard from upstairs.

"Hello,I'm back."

" Down here,we are in the kitchen." called lavender.

Hermione walked into the kitchen,she took off the evening cloak she had been wearing and draped it over the back of a kitchen chair.

"Everything been okay?" she asked. She pulled out another and sank down onto it,slipping off her black high heels.

" That's better,I'm so glad to be home!" she sighed and rubbed her toes.

It had been a while since the young witch had been out for the evening and she had never been a fan of dressing up in fancy dress robes and wearing high heels,but she had wanted to make an effort that evening.

"Yeah. Been fine here-what was the party like?...if you don't need me and Lav,-were off to the leaky to catch last orders.." Ron gabbled before Hermione could say anything.

He then grabbed Lavenders hand and turned toward the kitchen door pulling her behind him, she waved her other hand vaguely in Hermiones direction.

" Bye then." they both called as they ran up the stairs to the hall.

" Thanks, goodnight"

The pop of apparition could be heard from the open front door.

Hermione sighed and shook her head, they would never change,those two.-couldn't even shut the front door!

Hermione and Lavender had never had much in common even when they had attended Hogwarts school, apart from being in the same house,and dating Ron at some point. Lavender could never understand Hermiones love of academia and learning,while Hermione thought there was more to life than the latest make-up glamours and hair care spells. They had never had a proper conversation with each other apart from 'Hello' and 'Goodbye'.

Hermiones husband said that lavender had the brains of a 'Pygmy puff' and he prefered a 'Brown-eyed,brainy,beauty' every time.

She made her way upstairs to the Master Bedroom,closing the front door on her way.

As she entered the bedroom she cast an _'Incendio'._ soon a fire was blazing merrily in the grate.

She walked over to the cradle and smiled down at her baby son,he was chewing on a fist.

"Hello my angel,mummy's back.." she cooed at him. Picking him up and cradling him to her chest she walked over to the Four-poster bed and sat down.

She undid the front of her robes and removed the nursing bra, he immediately latched onto an exposed breast,and started to feed hungrily.

Hermione had been reluctant to leave her son,as he was only ten weeks old and go the the Ministry function,but her husband had said it would do them both good to get out for an evening.

"Hello Crooks,did you look after Reggie for me?glad we have you to guard him,Ron and Lavender haven't a clue." she addressed the Cat, he had got up from the end of the bed where he had been keeping guard over the baby,and padded over to her side.

"Hermione!" called a deep voice.

"Up here,in the bedroom with the boys!"

" Hello kitten...hows my boy?"

"He's having his evening meal...I'm glad you told me to come home,they had completely forgotten to call me for his feed,if it wasn't for Crooks our son would still be clarted up to the eyeballs and screaming the house down! Out doing your mother!"

The dark haired wizard smiled and sat down on the bed beside Hermione putting an arm around her.

" I thought that they would forget about him! Its a good thing I can use my animagus form and communicate with Crookshanks to find out what was going on! It was an excellent plan my love!"

They had come up with a scheme to keep an eye on the baby,as both felt that Ron and lavender were too wrapped up in each other to do a decent job of babysitting. And they had been right!

He would turn into his Animagus form which was a large black dog, return to the house and Crookshanks would appraise him of the situation,and then he would go back and tell Hermione. She had decided to return anyway to feed Reggie.

"I was glad to get home,these Ministry functions are so tedious! I'd rather spend an evening listening to Kreacher moaning about mudbloods!" replied Hermione.

He grinned and leaned over to kiss her cheek.

They both looked down at their son,who was feeding away to his hearts content.

He liked these times,when it was just him,his witch and his Lad.

"Things have changed considerably since I came back...wages for House elves,Kingsley being minister for magic...Snakeface snuffing it!"

"and you turning up at random on Brighton Pier! And me being there when it happened!" Hermione giggled.

The Wizard smiled at his wife,he thanked his lucky stars that she was his witch,she was so different from the bushy haired bookworm who had helped him escape from the astronomy tower.

She had been there for him from day one,helped him to re-adjust to life after the veil. Doing all the practical things that were needed,sorting out his legal affairs. Helping him through the grief when he had heard about all the deaths the war had caused.

She had been his drinking pal on many an occasion when he felt firewhisky was his only friend.

She made sure he ate properly .gave him hangover potions after the boozy evenings when he had been in his cups,and laughed when he called her a "Bossy wench!".

He fell in love with her gradually. He had held her when her romance with Ron had ended after he was caught Snogging Lavender Brown.

He had found her sitting in the library of his former family home,he had gone into the room to get a bottle of Firewhisky from his secret stash hidden behind some copies of old transfiguration tomes. The room had been lit by one small candle set on a spindly side table,he could just make out the shape of someone slumped in an armchair,and the smell of strong spirits.. and that someone had found his firewhisky!

Hermione could never hold her alcohol. She was very tipsy and greeted him in a voice that was slightly slurred,and said that he should join her and they should get pissed together! She passed the bottle up to her lips and took a generous swig of the fiery liquid. He took the bottle out of her hands and found some glasses and had poured a very generous measure for each of them. She then told him of Rons betrayal with Lavender and had proceeded to burst into noisy tears. He had then pulled her out of the armchair and into his arms. He sat them both on the sofa,

Hermione had buried her head on his shoulder and sobbed her heart out.

He gently rubbed her back in soothing circles.

She had bemoaned about how no Wizard fancied her and that her hair was to bushy to be attractive. he had said that she was pretty and how he liked curls. she also whispered to him that Ron had called her a prude because she wouldn't sleep with him, and had wanted to wait to lose her virginity.

He told her that the boy was a total prick and didn't deserve her. This had made her smile. He wiped away her tears and got her a hangover potion and told her to go to bed and sleep it off, he made her promise not to reveal his hiding place for their firewhisky.

He decided to bide his time and wait before he declared his feelings for her.

It was at Hermione's twenty-first birthday that they got together,she had had a makeover as a present from Ginny and Harry, gone was the frizzy mess called hair and in its place sable curls.

When she walked into the restaurant for her birthday meal,he had been stunned,she was beautiful, large Brown eyes shone out of a flawless complexion,she was all curvy in new dress robes. At the end of the evening when they had gone back to his house for a night cap,they had found themselves alone,it felt natural for them to fall into each others arms, he had kissed her and told her that he loved her,she responded that she had loved him since he had held that night and comforted her,making her feel better and saying she was pretty.

They became lovers soon after,not everyone approved of their relationship,said he was too old for her and she was too straight laced to keep him satisfied.

But they married after six months and became parents just after their first wedding anniversary.

Now looking down at his son,who had fallen asleep still attached to his mothers breast. He marvelled at how they had created such a handsome lad,Reggie had his fathers dark hair and aristocratic good-looks,and his mother's large brown eyes. he stroked a finger along the soft cheek,the babies eyes fluttered open for a second then closed,his long dark eye lashes fanning on his cheeks.

" I think my love that young Regulus Orion Remus Black is in the land of nod!" said Sirius Black softly.

" Yes,I hope he sleeps through the night." responded Hermione.

" maybe we could...you know...do something that we haven't done

in a little while..." winked Sirius.

"OOOO!...you bad Wizard! You read my mind!"

Hermione put Reggie in his cradle,and they both undressed and got into the large Four-poster bed.

Drawing the curtains on the bed, Sirius pulled Hermione into his arms,

" I've missed this so much," he whispered

" Me too," yawned Hermione.

Sirius and Hermione Black proceeded to do what they hadn't done in a long time...Sleep.

~FIN~


End file.
